How To Deal With The “Crazy Baby Mama”

Sept 2011

I’ve gotten quite a few “Dear iCandi” letters about ‘Crazy Baby Mamas”. Although I am an advocate for single mothers (baby mamas) and you often hear me giving them (us) kudos, I do, however, realize that there are some “baby mamas” out there that might purposely drive a man crazy.

Dealing with the “Crazy Baby Mama” can get frustrating and be a challenge, but you always have choices and options when dealing with any frustrating situation. Here are a few ways that MsiCandi feels are BEST when dealing with your “Crazy Baby Mama”.

#1 Stay Calm A lot of times we let our emotions get the best of us.

We are quick to react and forget to think. If you are in the middle of an argument with the mother of your child and she says something that just pushes your buttons (we all have that button and usually our baby’s mama/baby’s daddy knows exactly what that button is), remember to STAY CALM. Reacting is exactly what they are trying to get you to do. Don’t let them win. Your number one priority should be your child(ren).

#2 Stay Focused Most of the “Crazy Baby Mama” stories I hear, the father just wants to

see (spend time with) his child(ren). If that is your situation then STAY FOCUSED. Don’t let drama, cattiness, and side comments stop you from seeing your child. If that is truly what you want then ignore her; go see your babies and STAY FOCUSED!

#3 Take Action I’ve witnessed some situations when a woman will use her child as a

weapon to hurt a man. “You can’t see you baby unless you do this...blah, blah, blah”. I say this with no disrespect whatsoever. Even a deadbeat dad has rights. If he wants to see his child and hasn’t contributed one penny towards his child, he still LEGALLY has rights. It might not be fair (to some) but it is what it is. So if you are a great dad and she’s being spiteful just because, you can take legal action to see your child. Take action. Go to the courts and file those papers. It’s your child too dang it!

#4 Kill Them With Kindness I’m always told to “be the bigger person” and although at times being

the bigger person sucks, it’s sometimes the best thing to do. It shows maturity and puts you above pettiness. So when that “crazy baby’s mama” is saying crazy stuff or losing her dang-on mind, pray for her, tell her to have a blessed day, and you’ll be by on Wednesday to pick up the kids.

#5 Be Realistic You are stuck with this person so accept it, embrace it and make it

work. Living in the fantasy world of “only 18 years” is not a reality. As long as you are a parent of this child, she will be the co-parent. It’s time you accept the facts. “She trapped me!” No she did not. You took the risk of having sex. We all learned in sex-ed that sex CAN lead to pregnancy.


“She’s a Gold digger!” Oh well! You chose to have sex with the gold digger so you risked your money when you did the deed.


“I wish you weren’t the mother of my child.” Too bad, she is!


Once you can be realistic and accept what reality is you can start to make the best of the situation. My advice to everyone is to pay attention to who you are having sex with. A couple hours of a “good time” can lead to a lifetime headache. So don’t share yourself with just anybody and practice safe sex.